I'm often told by those that don't know me that I'm not suppose to be called a slave. According to those, I'm not even suppose to be called a submissive. Why is that you might ask?
My submission lies with one man, and one man only. My heart, my body, my mind and my very soul is his to do to as he pleases. However, this doesn't make me act submissive to other "masters" for they have not earned that from me.
Sure, there are a few others that I sometimes submit to for a session or so... So what's the difference? My heart isn't in it then. I can give my body to them for pleasure, but they will never get that part of me that is my true submission. My heart and my soul.

It always amazes me that people who I've never spoken to write me emails and my response isn't what they might have expected of a slave, I'm always told I don't belong here or that I should get punished for my behavior.
I'm told that no slave talks that way to a master. No slave have the right to demand anything. No slave is anybody. No slave can say No to a master.
Well... Guess what?!
I AM SOMEONE. I AM SOMEBODY. I CAN SAY NO.
I am a slave, a very devoted slave. A slave to love and a slave to my Master. There is NOTHING he can ask of me that I would not do... Where he leads I will follow, anywhere that he tells me to. That does however not take away my power to deny him things. How come? Because our relationship is not one based on the roles of Master and slave. It's one based on the both of us falling in love and THEN adding on the Master/slave dynamic. We were both well aware of our roles when we met, we were both well aware that it was the kind of relationship we wanted, but it was never that part that made us a couple. It was love.
Guess what else?
My Master LOVES that I am just the way I am.
He LOVES that I can stand my own ground, that I can take care of myself and that I have thick skin and a sharp enough tongue to cut through glass.
I'm allowed to be just like that, because that's what he first fell in love with.
He fell in love with a strong, independent woman that no one puts down without getting severely punished for it by her. He fell in love with the fact that I don't always kneel just because his hand pushes on my shoulder and he fell in love with the fighting spirit in me.

This summer I wrote Master and said I would never again tell him No.
Fact is that I don't want it to be a part of my vocabulary when it comes to him, but I have yet to learn to master the trick behind it. However he does not listen to it. No is not a safeword. No is not a no. Not when it comes to us. There is a huge difference even though most might not be able to see it.
Saying no is saying I don't accept your will.
Saying red is just saying I can't take take more of this right now.
That's why I would never not use red if I need it. I will. I know Master wants me to do so if it comes to that. It's a safety measure for the both of us.
No is something that I don't want, because I want to accept Masters will at all times. Even when it is hard. I might still use the word, but it's not like when I say no to a friend asking me to do something or a guy hitting on me. A no with them means no. A no with my Master means I need him to make me because there's something in me fighting him on the issue at hand.

Doesn't that all sound like a big contradiction?
I know it does in some ways. But it's not. Not really.
Imagine the greatest love you could ever think of, then multiply that by 200, and you might be in the proximity of understanding what we feel for each other. Then add to that a Master/slave relationship that's everything you've ever wanted, where you two keep growing in your roles and wanting to try new things - only to find out that the other person have come to the exact same conclusion when you tell him/her about it.
Sounds to good to be true?
I know. That's why it's so scary.
It's better then anything I could ever have been dreaming of, better then my wildest hopes. It's my reality.