I have to agree with what has been said honesty is the best policy!

As for porn stars I have to say Terri Hall, I knew her growing up in the same town. Also there is a funny story about her. while in the Army I was flying in a chopper when the warrent officer pilot ask if I knew a Terri Hall. I told him I did and explained how I did. He then holds up a centerfold of her totaly naked and tells me what she was doing now days. I had no idea and told him she didn't look that good when I knew her.

Agree with Nasty. Carte blanche, complete and utter truth with things that will ultimately only harm is not good. But avoiding a topic or a truth that is simply awkward but has helped shape your values, for better or worse is irresponsible.

Being honest about things can also create a tighter bond. No one is perfect, admitting something that you're maybe not proud of but reveals a snippet of your infallibility is something to tie together.

Whether it's just dating, a new friend or a kinkster that you put your life in his hands... generally, honesty is a good place to start!

Porn star... I don't watch much porn, and I haven't had much time to read lately. I do like "Clan of the Cave Bear", that gets me thinking and horny and questioning...

Recently I've noticed chain in fashion. I'm sure it started innocently enough with a couple that didn't give a rats ass that they were into kink, she was owned and just wore her collar in public. Now, when I see a news anchor with an elegant chain inspired necklace, I honestly wonder 1. does she know what that could mean to certain people and 2. does she know what that could mean = is she owned and this is her subversive way of displaying it?

Another great set of questions... and thank you NM for the detailed look at truth... good or bad ALL the time.

Great reply, Nasty. You get my vote for best reply of the week. As for favorite porn stars, hmmm. When I was a young 15 year old sitting in the adult movie theater spanking my still growing meat, I popped quick when 70's porn star Serena appeared on the screen. She and Juliet Anderson are my all time favorites as they both had a way of making me spill my youthful boy juice so quickly.

Nowadays, I really appreciate Desirae Spencer and would love to sink my substantial Master Pole into her orifices. Same goes with "Wifey" from Wifeysworld. Something about the way she swallows a load makes me weak in the knees. On many occasions, I've sat subs in front of the computer and made them watch Wifey to learn how a woman should take a load of cum in her pie hole. She has the cutest technique of taking all the cum very delicately while holding her lips gently over a cock. Then she gives her man a quick look at the full load before taking down the man slime in a sexy gulp. She almost always appears to truly love the earthy flavor of the seed as it wiggles down her belly go fin d her stomache-egg. With respect to cum-swallowing, I haven't yet found a sub who holds a candle to her though.

As a general rule, I don't think secrets have a place in a committed relationship. To truly understand someone you have to know the factors that shaped them and disclosed private details foster emotional intimacy. However in practice things are a lot more complicated. You have to consider how the information might impact the other person and the relationship. Consider these examples:

A 40 year woman is getting very serious with her boyfriend of six months. One night they're discussing things from their past they're ashamed of. He admits his deepest darkest secret; his criminal record. 20 years ago, back in high school he used to shoplift on occasion until he got caught which scared him straight. Her shame is a lot worse; she killed a man. When she was 17 she was raped. It's all a blur and she doesn't the details but somehow she managed to stab him during the act. The next day she saw in the paper a man died of a stab wound a little ways away from where she had been raped. The police attributed it to a gang turf war and she never reported the rape to the police. For the past 23 years she's built a good life and despite being haunted by the terror of that night kept this secret from everyone. Is knowing she's a murder, even in self-defense, going to damage or enhance their relationship?

A 50 year old man has been married for almost 30 years. His wife and he have 3 beautiful children. On recent business trip he was out celebrating a huge deal he'd just concluded. He got rather tipsy and ended up going home with a woman he met at the bar. The sex was great but she means nothing to him, in fact he doesn't even remember her name. They used condoms so he's pretty sure she didn't get pregnant and he was later tested for venereal diseases which it thankfully turns out doesn't have. The man feels incredibly guilty about this. He'd never cheated on his wife before and going on how he feels now knows he never will again. Is it worth damaging his wife's 30+ years of trust in him to assuage his conscious?

A college aged girl is on her second date with a guy she thinks might be The One. This isn't the first guy she's thought that about. There were probably about six or seven The Ones before him, but this time she's sure. Of course she's been just as sure about all the others. She has three secrets. The first, is she was adapted when she was 14. The second, is she has been in counseling for issues relating to her adoption ever since. The third, is she was adopted because she had been taken away from her birth parents because between the ages of about 6 and 12 she had been sexually abused by every member of her family. How far should she go in revealing these secrets? Would it be different after they'd been dating for six months? Or a year?

I don't believe full disclosure would benefit the relationships in any of these examples. In fact I can see it severely damaging or destroying the relationship. In the first example, I think she probably should say she had been raped but leave out any mention of stabbing her attacker. I believe the man in the second example should say nothing because it will do far more harm than good. In the last example, the girl should reveal she was adopted and is in counseling for it although perhaps not on the second date. On the second date she probably shouldn't mention the abuse because it's probably far too early for that much information but it should come out at some point.