Investments
We're all familiar with the concept of investing. You put a certain amount of money aside and through interest, dividends and appreciation of underlying securities one winds up with more money (in theory) at the end of a given period of time.
The amount of increase is a function of the risk of the investments and the legnth of time the principle is invested. Certainly with riskier investments, their is a greater risk of loss...having less money than you started with.
Relationships are the same, and expecially with a BDSM relationship, the need to invest in the relationship to have it grow over time is paramount to the success of the relationship. How many times have we seen people join this site, throw up a status post about looking for a slave or a Dom, provide no additional information about themselves beyond the bare minimum and give up if they don't find a partner in a day...a week...even a month.
To Me, the seeker is attempting to make millions of dollars in day trading on the investment of 50 cents in the stock of a company in bankrupcy reorganization. It's theoretically possible, and may have even happened once or twice in history, but really you stand a much better chance of getting hit by lightening while standing in a rubber room.
As a Dom, I enjoy binding a sub and doing nasty things to them (hey who doesn't?). But in reality I am asking for a hell of alot of trust. Once they are immobilized I can do whatever I want. Oh the possibilities! But by the same token, I can do things that are harmful to the sub. Hurt them permenantly...even kill them, and they would be powerless to stop Me. Now I'm sure there are subs who get off on that rush. But for the vast majority of rational people, they need to build up a rapport...trust...before they are willing to put themselves in that position.
It takes an investment in time and effort. Time to build the trust...effort to make the scene good and safe. Look at Stormbinder's blogs as an example. Look at the effort He puts into each date...the set up...setting the mood...setting the physical setting...the rapport built up with the sub over a period of time. Being a Dom is hard work...but so worth the investment of time and effort.
So make sure that you invest in your relationships. Sure their is risk of rejection..sure you have to put yourself into the investment...but the payoff...the reward is great when it works.
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Re: Investments
Love the metaphor Sir Issib. Thank You for sharing.
In my humble opinion, regarding the building of trust in a BDSM relationship; there is too much emphasis on ceremony and not enough attention is paid to substance – much like going to a fancy over priced restaurant, having to deal with a pushy arrogant waiter, only to be served epazote floating in a bowl of lukewarm water.
i believe there are no mistakes and/or rejections in life. It is all about perspective. One can walk away having learned a life lesson and move forward empowered with more knowledge.
And yes, i concur with your comment about Sir Storm; He is a scholar, a gentleman, and simply oozing of charisma; and he is quite adept at utilizing that characteristic..."smiles" We are all friends right? wink wink
respectfully,
smackdat
Re: Investments
I like the "farmer" view better (my h.s. mascot to boot!).
Makes more sense to me than financial... ty SB!
Re: Investments
I see it more like investing your life force into it.
It's more like investing in a farm. You spend time working the land, planting the crops, weeding, watering, all for your eventual bliss; Harvest! Along the way there will be things that happen to improve and sometimes there are catastrophes. No interest, no formulas. But when you invest properly, the plantation grows and in the end is worth WAY more than the money you put in it.
But one false move and KAPLOWIE! It's over.
That's the kind of investment I'm talking about.
-=Storm=-
Re: Investments
I guess I have a limited view of financial investments...
Not my field. Was just trying to separate out some of my assumptions...
Re: Investments
I don't know pip, even the best financial plan requires review, adjustment to changing conditions and rebalancing. It's not a mindless plan.
Re: Investments
Yes, nice shout out to Stormbinder.
As I'm thinking about my overall life investments, I'm wondering my best course of action for bdsm relationship investments.
[The amount of increase is a function of the risk of the investments and the length of time the principle is invested.]
What am I to do? If my bdsm bank has an initial deposit, a jump of faith really (risk)... then as the hours and and days tick away, I'm gaining value towards my future possible bliss?
A difference I see in relationship vs. financial, is the maintenance. Relationships need attention. It is common to believe you can leave money in an account and that it will grow, I'm thinking of CD's (not a financial genius). But in a relationship, it's constantly changing: deposit, withdrawal, analyze receipt, deposit, transfer funds, withdrawal, deposit, withdrawal.
I guess what I'm trying to say, anything you want a return on, you need to put some time into. Relationships and financial investments are different, money and trials of the heart/bdsm do differ.
That's all...
Re: Investments
Yes, I speak like a true accountant!
And you're welcome on the shout out...it's a good blog.
Re: Investments
Very well put, Issib
Investment is a good way to look at any relationship. You invest your time and your self. Your skill and your natural talent into a date or a session and each one is a step into the relationship. An investment.
Well said.
Oh, and thanx for the honorable mention too. *grin*
-=Storm=-