Today I did something really wicked, but found I could not follow through. I held that phone receiver in my shaking hand and dialed Frej’s number. I was so nervous the first time I got a compete wrong number feeling very stupid. On the second try I got him, not the real him, just his voice on his answering machine. Strong, tempting, and persuasive, that voice that could do such terrible things to me and all by association.