humour
The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

If?

Now if you load your rifle right
And if you fix your bayonet so
And if you kill that man my friend
The one we call the foe
And if you do it often lad
And if you do it right
You'll be a hero overnight
You'll save your country from her plight
Remember God is always right
If you survive to see the sight
A friend now greeting foe

No you won't believe in If anymore
It's an illusion
It's an illusion
No you won't believe in If anymore
If is for [filtered word]
If is for [filtered word]
Building daydreams

If I knew then what I know now
(I thought I did you know somehow)

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

I think no matter where you stray,

I think no matter where you stray,

That I shall go with you a way,

Though you may wander sweeter lands,

You will not forget my hands,

Nor yet the way I held my head,

Nor the tremulous things I said,

You will still see me, small and white,

And smiling, in the secret night,

And feel my arms about you when,

The day comes fluttering back again,

I think, no matter where you be,

You'll hold me in your memory,

And keep my image there without me,

By telling later loves about me.

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

Spice up your Valentine's Day.

Spice up your Valentine's Day.

Spice up your Valentine's Day with this super sexy, naughty chocolate body paint. This recipe doubles as a topping for your favourite ice cream or baked goods. Double, triple or even quadruple the recipe so you have extra to give to friends.

WARNING Please take precautions before painting. Do not use the chocolate paint until it has cooled down sufficiently. If the paint is too hot, you may get burned.
Test a small drop before use on your forearm.

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons chocolate extract.
1/3 cup granulated sugar.
1 pinch salt.

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

Please grant me.

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

the angels had guitars even before they had wings

You can't run away forever,
But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start
You want to shut out the night
You want to shut down the sun
You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart

Think of how we'd lay down together
We'd be listening to the radio so loud and so strong
Every golden nugget coming like a gift of the gods
Someone must have blessed us when he gave us those songs
I treasured your love
I never wanted to lose it
You've been through the fires of hell
And I know you've got the ashes to prove it

I treasured your love

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

Sad songs, they say so much.

Guess there are times when we all need to share a little pain.
And ironing out the rough spots.
Is the hardest part when memories remain.
And it's times like these when we all need to hear the radio.
Cause from the lips of some old singer.
We can share the troubles we already know.

Turn them on, turn them on.
Turn on those sad songs.
When all hope is gone.
Why don’t you tune in and turn them on.

They reach into your room.
Just feel their gentle touch.
When all hope is gone.
Sad songs say so much.

If someone else is suffering enough to write it down.

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

The memories are all in mind

Thanks for the times that you've given me,
The memories are all in mind.
And now that we've come
To the end of our rainbow
There's something I must say out loud!
Your once, twice
Three times a lady

Yes, your once, twice
Three times a lady
When we are together
The moments I cherish
With every beat of my heart.

When we were together
The moments I cherish
With every beat of my heart.
To touch you, to hold you
To feel you, to need you.
There's everything to keep us apart

You're once, twice
Three times a lady
And yes,
I love you.

The-Yellow-Ardvark's picture

I'm happy I live in a split-level head.

I'm happy I live in a split-level head.

I've lived in apartments, I've lived in a home.
I travelled in trailers when I used to roam.
But now in these places you won't have me dead.
'Cause I'm happy I live in a split-level head.

I do what I want to, no worries, no care.
If anyone bugs me I climb up my stairs.
Way up to a level where I feel no threat.
'Cause I'm happy I live in a split-level head.

If you're trying something, I couldn't care less.
I don't rush for busses and trains are a mess.
There's no one to care for, I don't need a bed.

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