That night the past came back with a vengeance.
I woke up bathing in sweat and howling like a wounded animal.
The death of my first child had dealt me a severe blow, but the pain had eased because i had been pregnant again quite fast. The death of the second child had devasted me an my feeling of guilt had never gone away, rather the contrary. In the end i had managed to dig it away deep down in my brain and had started living as a rampaged whoring cunt. My friend encouring this.
But deep down the guilt continued doing it's work.