i am pretty convinced at this stage that many of the men who seem so clueless, and who can be so upsetting and offensive to those who don't have an appropriate thick skin (and plenty of grains of salt to take things with!) while dealing with others online esp in bdsm-- are really not that stupid, but are actually doing exactly what they aim to do.
let's face it, any real relationship is a give and take...you have to be or do something pretty awesome to someone else to get anyone to trust you enough to engage in ANY form of D/s.
if you are a person who cannot do this- who is basically an emotional equivalent of infant or toddler in a man's body-- what better way to get that narcissistic itch scratched without having to do anything but be your asshole self than to create a profile and go online and go at it with people?
people who truly want a real relationship figure it out, that being a dickhead is NOT what it's about....whether they are lucky enough to find someone really special to them is another story, but most people have enough basic intelligence to know how to alter their behavior in order to obtain the results they seek.

might it be just what some seek to come online and act the fool and, "get away with it" so to speak?

the ones who are stuck in their bad, self defeating behavior and cannot alter it on their own for their own behalf in order to make their relationships more balanced (and therefore fulfilling and perhaps sustainable) need more than an article or a blog: they need therapy OR perhaps a Domme to help modify their behaviour.

No matter how many times one tries to explain these basic social manners, those informed by pornography or contemporary pulp fiction (both often written and presented by vanillas)seem to think they know exactly how to approach women who choose submission in their intimate relationships. one would THINK their constant striking out would encourage them to rethink their approach, perhaps even to educate themselves on the complexity and expectations of a D/s relationship (hopefully by attending a Munch in their local area). Regrettably few even have the basic understanding that D/s is a relationship style and BDSM is an activity/paraphilia. This type of blog article offers a level of education in human relationships that we can hope the 'explorers' will find in their google searches for 'kink'.

i tend to walk the sunny side of the street Sir Nasty, Sir Ooragoth, and Sir Issib. If even ONE person finds this particular forum and reads the article, then that person has been empowered with some knowledge.

Thank You for sharing.

respectfully,
smackdat

Unfortunately the guys who need to read that are the guys who will never ever get it.

Nasty,

Excellent blog and excellent advise. Unfortunately will probably fall on deaf ears. Hope I am proved wrong however.