On the subject of humiliation at Slavefarm

On the subject of humiliation

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Wed, 09/26/2007 - 12:08

slvjustine

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On the subject of humiliation

i have heard many Doms/Dommes say they greatly enjoy "humiliation play," but what does that mean or entail? One Dom considers caging His slave, or making His slave eat out a dog dish as "humiliation play". A sister slave told me she considers slutty clothes humiliating. i do realize many things are subjective to the "players" in this realm, but can one really quantify, or maybe the better word is "qualify" this term?

i do not consider neither of the above stated instances acts of humiliation. To me, nothing that is done to please my Superior is humiliating. How could pleasing another be called humiliating? To me, humiliation is another word for embarrassment. Here is how the dictionary defines the two terms. (Using the transitive verb definition)

Humiliate: to reduce to a lower position in one's own eyes or others' eyes

Embarrass: to cause to experience a state of self-conscious distress

When a Master tells me to crawl into my cage, i feel i should perform my task with enjoyment and enthusiasm. i do not believe i am lowering my self in my eyes; or my Master's eyes by carrying out His wishes. So, is this a case for humiliation?

On the other hand, say my Master gave me an enema in the morning. He decides He wants his slut's asshole clean so He can share His property with His friend later on in the day. So, His friend comes over, and Master gives His property to His friend. His friend is pounding away at this slave anally when the friend pulls His cock of her asshole for a second. At that instant, she accidentally "leaks retained fluid" all over His cock and the floor.

i would consider that humiliating/embarrassing situation. So, does something have to be embarrassing to be called humiliation? Is that even what a slave should think.

i welcome and appreciate all feedback on this subject.

Thank you,

justine

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Wed, 09/26/2007 - 12:08

slvjustine

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boston

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42° 0' 0" N, 71° 0' 0" W

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Joined: 08/21/2007

Thank you!

i just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has responded to my post. i think from the replies and private emails, i have a "better" grasp on what constitutes humiliation.

All my best,

justine

Tue, 09/25/2007 - 23:26

ariona

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Joined: 07/30/2006

on the subject of humiliation

I agree that humiliation means different things to different people- i put it on par with pain- some people find it a turn on, other's hate it, some can take more and some less and so too with humiliation.

On a purely logical level it stands to reason that if a slave's role is to obey his/her Master's instructions then nothing that the slave can be made to do can humiliate or humble that slave. The very act of submitting and being reduced to the status of slave is the ultimate "humiliation."

However, all of us have feelings, fears, insecurities. Having these exposed or the risk of exposure are both an effective method of control and submission. Humiliation to my mind appeals because it is a way of saying "my desire to please you is greater than my fear of having my fears, insecurities exposed. If it pleased Master to use me this way, diminish me and expose me this way, then even though my soul shrinks from it, even if i am seen in a bad light, even if it turns my perception of myself on my head i will obey."

Of course i admit sometimes it is simply not possible to obey. Like pain, there are places you just can't go with humiliation.

Humiliation is like a whipping but mental and spiritual. It can make you cry, it hurts, but there is something in the submissive soul that craves it. Personally i see a kind of strange honesty in it.

Tue, 09/25/2007 - 03:40

Melen`s_rayne

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Joined: 06/11/2005

i was talking to a "sister slave" online today, and the subject of humiliation came up quite bit during our conversation. During this chat, i came to the realization that i do not completely comprehend how humiliation is defined in the D/s context.
i have heard many Doms/Dommes say they greatly enjoy "humiliation play," but what does that mean or entail? One Dom considers caging His slave, or making His slave eat out a dog dish as "humiliation play". A sister slave told me she considers slutty clothes humiliating. i do realize many things are subjective to the "players" in this realm, but can one really quantify, or maybe the better word is "qualify" this term?
i do not consider neither of the above stated instances acts of humiliation. To me, nothing that is done to please my Superior is humiliating. How could pleasing another be called humiliating? To me, humiliation is another word for embarrassment. Here is how the dictionary defines the two terms. (Using the transitive verb definition)
Humiliate: to reduce to a lower position in one's own eyes or others' eyes
Embarrass: to cause to experience a state of self-conscious distress
When a Master tells me to crawl into my cage, i feel i should perform my task with enjoyment and enthusiasm. i do not believe i am lowering my self in my eyes; or my Master's eyes by carrying out His wishes. So, is this a case for humiliation?
On the other hand, say my Master gave me an enema in the morning. He decides He wants his slut's asshole clean so He can share His property with His friend later on in the day. So, His friend comes over, and Master gives His property to His friend. His friend is pounding away at this slave anally when the friend pulls His cock of her asshole for a second. At that instant, she accidentally "leaks retained fluid" all over His cock and the floor.
i would consider that humiliating/embarrassing situation. So, does something have to be embarrassing to be called humiliation? Is that even what a slave should think.
i welcome and appreciate all feedback on this subject.
Thank you,
justine

First, in reading the definitions you should see the difference, grammatically speaking, between humiliation and embarrassment. Humiliation is similar to being humbled. But humiliation play means different things to different people, as you stated.

For me, when I think of humiliation I think of being forced (or even just ordered and not needing to be forced) to do something I wouldn't normally do on my own and/or something Master would never do. For example, being sent to the next door neighbor to explain my status in life and beg him to use me (this really happened - No, we were not forcing our lifestyle on him. He had made it known that he knew what we were up to and dabbled in the lifestyle himself.). I was embarrassed at first. What if he said no? (And he did the first time I asked, stating that he'd like to "get to know" me first.) What if he thought badly of me? What if he realized how much of a whore I am? But then I realized that none of those things mattered as long as I pleased Master by pleasing him. Then it was simply me being lowered to the status I already knew myself to be in.

Should a slave be embarrassed by leaking? In my opinion, yes. If the owner's friend were angered, insulted, disgusted by it, it might reflect badly on the owner. A slave should be embarrassed, apologetic, etc. Should a slave be embarrassed by doing things her owner orders her to do? Probably not. If she pleases him, what other people think doesn't really matter unless he tells her it does. Does one need to be embarrassed to be humiliated? No, not really. You can feel low or humble without being embarrassed by it.

As for how a slave should think? Well, I think that's something that should be asked of your owner (each time you're owned, as different people have different preferences in a slave/submissive) and not a gaggle of self-proclaimed masters and slaves, sadists and masochists (and before you all go getting your panties in a bunch, I'm including myself in this group), etc.

With us? Master and me, I mean. Well, I'm still learning that if Master thinks my behavior is appropriate than I have nothing to be embarrassed about. Part of that (the still learning part) is because He also enjoys fostering the embarrassment. I think He'd find Himself disappointed if I ever truly got over it *grin*

~rayne
Insatiable Desire

Mon, 09/24/2007 - 23:53

dooody

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Joined: 01/18/2007

Hi Justine
Humiliation and embarrassment often go hand in hand, but are essentially two different things. Siteing your example below:-
On the other hand, say my Master gave me an enema in the morning. He decides He wants his slut's asshole clean so He can share His property with His friend later on in the day. So, His friend comes over, and Master gives His property to His friend. His friend is pounding away at this slave anally when the friend pulls His cock of her asshole for a second. At that instant, she accidentally "leaks retained fluid" all over His cock and the floor.
I would consider that a humiliating/embarrassing situation.
If that situation occurred as an accidental and unintentional release of retained fluids, then clearly it would be very embarrasing to the person releasing, even to the others involved.
Equally any one invoved, including the releaser, might find the situation highly amusing. In which case niether humiliation or embarrssment are involved.
However, if the act of releasing was ordered by the dom for the amusement and/or pleasure of whoever, then performing the act that would otherwise be embarrassing, would now become a demonstrated act of humiliation on behalf of the sub/slave.
Because one wishes to effect everything the Dom requires with due enthusiasm, does not release the sub/slave from the inner feelings of humiliation or embarrasement if they exist within them. It just makes the act easier to perform.
It is from these inner feelings and the pride in overcoming their effect, for the pleasure of the Dom, that releases the endorphins that give the deep, deep pleasure and reward to the sub/slave.
Hope this goes a little way to helping you understand where "Humiliation" and "Embarassement" are both similar but entirely different and at times exist together.
***Dooody UK***

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Mon, 09/24/2007 - 20:55

wrad

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Joined: 11/13/2005

slvjustine, yours is a very interesting question and one which I think is subjective.

You are a female executive. You will know that the thought of bringing you to your knees is a very gratifying fantasy of many men who see you each day. To them, part of the allure is the belief that, in doing so, they will be humiliating you, having you cringe internally, and so accepting their mastery.

As with so much, it is not possible, I believe, to find a definition to fit 'all sizes'. In training, we have never wished to destroy but rather to enhance the trainee's arousal so we use humiliation to do that.

Looking back, I see that this will be of no help to you, probably, and I regret that.

Mon, 09/24/2007 - 13:24

PeJay

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