Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?
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PeJay's picture
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Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination
according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under
any circumstance.   The following response is an open letter
to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on
the Internet.  It's funny, as well as informative.

 

Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate
people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from
your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many
people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some
other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1.Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why
can't I own Canadians?

2.I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you
think would be a fair price for her?

3.I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she
is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most
women take offense.

4.When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
is my neighbours.  They claim the odour is not pleasing to
them.  Should I smite them?

5.I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the
police to do it?

6.A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree.  Can you settle this?
Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7.Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is
there some wiggle-room here?

8.Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9.I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I
wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread
(cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and
blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus
enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us
that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of
Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of
Virginia  (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a
Canadian :)     

reaalhubby's picture
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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

As a Canadian, I am deeply offended that we are not eligible to be slaves. That is discrimination and I am going to take this to the International Human Rights Commission. Big smile

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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

Sir Ooragoth,

i have responded in kind...you will find it in your message box...

what an amazing grasp of life you have...the world is your oyster...wink wink

respectfully,

smackdat

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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

i stand corrected Sir Ooragoth...regarding a Buddhist Holy War....however, many a Dalai Lama (reincarnations) have been killed or have had to flee Tibet because of religious violence....

if you would be so kind Sir Ooragoth...would you pm me and share your religious beliefs if you are comfortable, of course, are you Buddhist? i am curious as i do not follow an easy path myself regarding my spiritual beliefs...

respectfully,

smackdat

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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

I think Chris Rock put it best in "Dogma" when he said "Jesus has some really good ideas but the problem was someone made a religion out of it."

I agree with most of what you said smackdat, and would like to add, relgion is deeply personal the idea that there is or even can be an orginization that has any right or even just thinks it does, to tell people what and how to believe is so ludicrous as to be, ironically, almost beyond belief. I am of course speaking of the Catholic church, my proof of this is buddism, when was the last time you heard of a buddist holy war?

P.

PeJay's picture
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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

smackdat wrote:
i thank you Sir PeJay for the opportunity...you knew i could not resist...wink wink

Can you ever?

smackdat's picture
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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

Mmm...Sir Ooragoth - brave of heart - dipped His toe in the holy water...and here i go...with the Goddess along side me….

Religion is the “opium of the masses” and it is what has separated the poor from the rich for centuries. I believe every “religion" is true in one way or another. It is true when understood metaphorically, however, when it gets stuck in its own metaphors as stated above interpreting them as facts, as articulated by Dr Laura Schlesinger then you get into trouble.

“Religion is an illusion and derives its strength from the fact it falls within our own instinctual desires”. i believe S. Freud made that statement in one of his books. Anyways i digress and must get back on track, bear with me please.

We have just enough religion to make us hate each other, but not enough to love each other. It is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful for centuries. Organized religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress. If you do not believe me go ask someone who has been molested by a trusted “servant of god” or the gay or lesbian, because of their sexuality, cannot become a member of some churches or aspire to become “servant of god”.

The fact that more people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason, that my friend, that is the true perversion.

And so, off the soap box i go…running…because the problem with writing about religion is you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people and then they come after you with machetes.

respectfully,

smackdat

 

P.S. i thank you Sir PeJay for the opportunity...you knew i could not resist...wink wink

PeJay's picture
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Romney Marsh, Kent
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51° 4' 21.5184" N, 1° 4' 28.5996" E
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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

lol I knew it'd tickle your funny bone, when you found it Wink

ooragoth's picture
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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

I love it!

I've always said that with any religion you have to take it with a spoonfull of salt, the bible is no different. YOu have to take the good parts like "thou shal not kill" and "thou shall honor thy mother and father" but things that we know inherently to be wrong you have to abandon it was written 2000 years ago back when the earth was still flat, medicine had more to do with the movement of the stars when you were born than the symptoms you had and half the time leaders were whoever could beat up the most people, and half of the book was written about things that happened even longer before it was written than its been since it was written! People who use religion to justify bigotry are nothing but control freaks trying to control the world around them because they are terrified that they don't understand anything. Bravo Professor Kauffman Bravo and bravo to you PeJay for posting this.

P.

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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

As Moses said when he came down from the mountain, "Take two tablets and call me in the morning."

smackdat's picture
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Re: Biblical contrasts/why can't I own a Canadian?

mange tak for sharing Sir PeJay

oh how i would love to meet James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of
Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

i can ascribe to his way of thinking (smiles)

respectfully.

smackdat

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