well put littlegirl_lost

I derive pleasure out of fearing my Owners.

I -serve- because I am born to serve. But I obey quickly, without reservation, occasionally, because I am afraid.

I think we tend to put limits on fear. We tend to think of fear as "fearing reprisal." There's so much more to it than that.

If someone serves because she wants her Owner to value her, she's fearing his rejection. If she obeys because she wants to be in the relationship, she is obeying because she fears being alone.

I would rather fear my Owner physically. Fear what he could do to me, if he chose to. Fear that he could hurt me badly, if he wanted to.

I serve and obey because he COULD, but he chooses not to.

Dominant but caring ~ a simple philosophy...a great deal of time is spent addressing the importance of domination and control...being Dominant comes with a great responsibility...the notion that ALL slaves/submissives want to be used and abused and will only comply out of fear is fallacious...we are human beings and have a need for love, nurturing and caring...our submission is a gift...a gift freely given out of love and respect in a healthy D/s relationship

respectfully,
smackdat

A slave should be controled by her desire to please her master, not be cohersed into it by fear. Relationships based on fear always end badly, often with violence and jail time. Fear balanced by trust however, in the context of BDSM play or punishment for "misbehavior" is a common element and part of the fun.

Submission out of love is better than service out of fear, a a slave in love with their master will submit completely.

I can't be certain anymore about who wrote it, though it sticks in my head it was Machiavelli. "Its is better to be feared than loved, for men love their own ambition while they can be made to fear yours." to which is replied "Ah, but is it not best to be both feared and loved?"

The reason I'm reminded of this quote is because I think quite truthfully that fear is necessary in a D/s relationship and that the amount varies from one moment to another. To give an example, there is no fear required in the day to day living like eating dinner or watching tv, however when it comes to giving her an order fear suddenly must exist. In order to enforce the order there must be a spoken or unspoken consequence to disobedience, whether in fact it is that consequence or the slaves desire to serve and please that makes her follow said command is for only her to know, but by the nature of the relationship the consequence and fear of it come into play at that point.
Fear it seems to me plays a greater role while the desire to serve and please plays less as you move towards more difficult and less welcome tasks, because of this in order to enforce the command the Dominant must increase the fear by increasing the severity and certainty of the punishment.

That's just how I see it and like I said why it reminded me of that particular quote. If anyone can remind me where it is actually from I would be very appreciative.

I don't suppose it's possible to completely eliminate fear from the equation. For most slaves, there is always the fear of what happens if i don't obey? Will He leave me or throw me aside?

Fear of abuse I don't agree with. A true Master controls Himself and His reactions as much as His slave. Besides, love is a much more powerful tool. It will bind your slave closer to you than fear ever will.