Tonight I am meeting someone I like and havent seen for ages to have my ass fucked in the woods ;) We havent done anything yet so this should be a good start and his kisses alone make me wet, wet, wet!

Anyway, I am trying to decide if i should do a gangbang more for my pleasure than money. Eight guys and me next week, the money isnt brilliant but I am curious to know what it would be like to be fucked over and over and I have a feeling I might love it and then to be pissed on at the end by them all like a cheap whore. Shall I do it?

I also have a Master to meet next week and possibly a Mistress he is talking with, tis early days though.

In the meantime, should I do eight guys? Its only for 2 hours afterall. I have never been penetrated in all 3 holes at the same time, not sure this would happen but has anyone done this? how does it feel to be that filled, does it hurt to have a cock in your ass and cunt at same time? And in fact has anyone ever had more than one cock in either ass or cunt simultaneously? I'm so horny I just want to try it all right now.

I've woken up this morning feeling crap. I have started my period early and am supposed to be seeing a guy tonight, I have no idea if I will now, we had plans and this period rather ruins them.

I havent mentioned this on here before but one of my handicaps is that I have sciatica down my right leg due to a slipped disc. I had another slipped disc last year badly and had an operation to remove the whole thing so I have a 6inch scar down my spine on my lower back now. Anyway, unlucky for me I have another herniation of the one above and it causes me real aggro. I had a spinal injection over 2 weeks ago which was very painful in an attempt to help this disc heal, it hasnt worked at all. It limits some of the things I can do, the positions I can be put in, it is quite literally a pain in the ass ....and leg for that matter and it really hinders my sleep and gives me nightmares alot because of the pain. Basically its horrible. Sometimes I have to stop what I am doing and get into a better position or suchlike, as a sub this is annoying but hasnt been too much of a hinderance yet. I am aware that if I increase my breast size I will be putting pressure on my back but I am still going to have them done eventually, in all honesty by the time I have the money it wont be until next year anyway, hopefully the disc will have improved by then.  Exercise helps alot, periods do NOT, the pain is nasty. I don't know why I'm telling all about this really? I guess just to let people know that I am not perfect, I do alot as a sub, yes, but I do have my issues to contend with, I would be no good as a 24/7 live in slave treated as an animal for example. I take alot, yes, but I also need to be handled with some degree of care, the spine isnt something to be played with! Health comes first, always!!! And as for my dislike of pain maybe its easier to understand why now? I am in enough pain as it is daily when it comes and goes without enduring anymore. I love to be flogged, I like light spanking, some scratching, having my face slapped, knife play, etc, but anything like cane, tawse, clamps and weights I cant cope with. I am usually to be found bearing marks and bruises though regardless of this, but seriously, with sciatica and constant back pain I would say pleasure is great to help relieve it and the bliss of being engaged in a scene which has the power of transporting me elsewhere for a few hours. But before anyone makes any assumptions I was into this scene way before any back trouble.

Does anyone else out there have or has had any health problems which they need to consider with this scene and the situations they get themselves into? I would be very interested to know how you deal or have dealt with them.

Okay, alots been said about breeding and myself on this site. I have a few questions about this....

1) What is the purpose? (aside from the obvious)

2) Is it just for titillation and having a pregnant slut to fuck?...ie..the kink factor

3) What happens to the baby when born?

4) How does this fit into a bdsm lifestyle?

5) Is the breeder constantly pregnant and used as a breed pig?

Also about forced lactation/milking....

1) If not pregnant, how long does it take to make a female lactate?

2) What is the turn on?

3) Do the nipples leak alot?

4) What happens to the milk? Who drinks it or suckles?

Sorry if I sound thick, but I really know nothing about this at all and can't see the interest other than wanting children in the traditional sense.

Soon I am to be whored out and I wanted to know who has had experience of this and what it felt like? How was the experience beneficial aside from the money? Did you feel turned on being so used like a real whore? Or did you feel ashamed, cheap and used? Maybe though that was part of the thrill of it? Currently its just a fantasy, although I have escorted twice in the distant past (but its not the same as being a sub and actually being pimped and I dont have much recollection of it). The reality will be quite different, although I often think of all the times I have been with men I am not that keen on for the sake of making them happy and not being able to say no, or simply because I am horny and like being touched. Is it really much different to walk away with cash? I have never thought so. Personally I would think this would suit me far more, I could soon pay for a breast enlargement or anything else for that matter. I don't have the issues of being paid for being fucked, etc as some might have and see it as being degrading (well it is, but I like degradation so no worries there), I don't see whats so wrong about it, afterall, its is the oldest profession and I have many skills which should be put to good use often so why not? My only shame is that I think about how sad my family would be if they knew, they would never understand, they would be disgusted to think I actually wish to try it willingly and if happy with it, continue being a whore for myself and for a Doms satisfaction controlling me in the situation and arranging it all for me.

But my question is this....how many other subs are whored? Is it common for a Dom to want a sub to do this for him, for his enjoyment? To make the jump from seeing a slut really behave like a true whore.

I have often wondered whether my true purpose in life was to please as everyone is given a skill, something they excell in and being a slut has always come very easily to me and I have always been commended on my abilities. I tried to fight this belief for ages, telling myself I had to be more than that....in the vanilla context. But as time goes on I really cannot be so sure. I go through periods of trying to fight it and then seem to come to terms with it all, right now I am at the point where I don't want to fight anything anymore, I don't see the point as its who I am and I know it can never be changed. I am a slut and I am proud of it, I would much rather be this way than some frigid nagging vanilla housewife!

So if my destiny is to become a whore and make lots of money doing it then so be it.

As a slut I love to be played with and if someone touches me, even if I dont actually fancy them I cant help but open my legs wider and let them slip their fingers, or in some cases, their hands in my eager cunt which is usually already soaking wet by that point. Its an automatic reaction but some think it means I am really turned on and like them and want to be theirs. Thats not always the case, it doesnt take much to get me wet! So far all the Doms I've met have wanted to own me but I havent wanted to have them as my Master as it didnt feel right. I know when I like someone, its an instant feeling and I can make a fast decision, none of the Doms I've met over the past few weeks (with the exception of one), have inspired me to wear their collar. To others it may look like I have quite a few Doms to see that I sometimes play with but the reality is that its sporadic. I would like to be exclusive to a regular Dom but at the same time if he isnt right then I dont think I could remain just his to keep. There are things I need to try such as group rape/gangbang, being rented/pimped out, even if only for one time. Some will love this and arrange it, others wont want their sub with anyone else. Whilst I would love the exclusivity I need to get those things out of my system...or not as the case may be if I end up really liking them and wanting them more and more?

So I still seek, I may still play with the guys who like me but I wont let them own me. But I know I am a huge slut, it sometimes amazes me how willing I am to be let people touch me I've only just met and the more I meet the more I'm told I am a dirty bitch/slut/whore who cant get enough as I swallow up the latest persons fist and ride it hard after knowing them all of 2hours beforehand, to me thats quite normal, the preliminary meets to see what a persons like always end up in me being used as a slut in some way, they never end after a brief chat, I am always played with and tested to see how I perform or take it and inspected to see if my cunt is wet/smooth enough, my tits and nipples are sufficient, my lips are good to kiss or suck, and my cunt can accommodate a few fingers or a fist, plus how I react to a spanking and a bit of force, verbal humiliation, sometimes my asshole is inspected too, but mostly its cunt and mouth, the ass is saved for later on when it can be thoroughly used. I am a fist/large insertions slut in my cunt, no doubt about it. But I still want the right person to have me even if in the meantime I let various Doms play with me.