At last...the account of my session with my fave Dom a few months ago...

He got out some red rope from his bag. In previous emails I'd said I'd quite like it as it looks good against my skin and he roped my tits up in a bra style. He starting squeezing and slapping my tits and biting my nipples hard. I loved that, and so on went my, now old, nipple clamps but the soft cover came off and they were really harsh gripping my nipples with jagged metal edges which dug in hard. He whipped them off me, my nipples started bleeding. He grabbed my tits, squeezed them hard and made the blood pump out so he could lick it off. Then continued whipping my tits with some force. After this he made me get on my knees and deep throat him and surprising his cock slid straight down my throat. Then he gagged me and made me turn around at the window facing out over the hotel car so that everyone could see me, my tits were already bright red by this time too...and he whipped the life out of me. At times it really hurt as the flogger snaked around my back and thighs stinging my flesh and he concentrated on one side of my ass, which was beginning to get very sore. I had to keep moving to try and avoid its full force.

Then he told me to count through the gag and turn around so he could whip my tits hard. He said I had to look at him as he whipped and slapped them...which was difficult, I couldnt help but look away and wasnt sure if he was gonna slap my face or not, which of course later he did. Then he made me hold the whip up so he could take a pic, but when he wanted it back I didnt give it to him. I held on tight to it, he said, if I didnt give it back to him he would hit me with his hands harder still on my tits. I didnt let go, he hit me...again and again. I still didnt let go. I was smirking through my gag and he could see in my eyes I wasnt gonna let go. I could feel him hitting my tits as hard as he could but I was loving it. I didnt want him to stop and he never goes gentle with me either, it was full on. I could of endured that delicious pain for an eternity! In the end I thought I had better give him the whip back, lol, he said if he carried on he might scar me…I didn’t care at all though, but I thought I had better behave and do as I was told, I‘d had my fun. He said he was impressed at how much I could take now. I was shocked myself. It hurt but I really loved it and I couldnt stop giggling afterwards.

Then he decided to stick my huge dildos up me and fist me with his huge hand...and I mean really fist me and I had wrist to ankle restraints on and legs wide apart, so no escape. He told me I had to be quiet and not make a sound...god, that was very hard indeed ... and it wasnt just a little gentle fisting but a real punch fisting for ages with his hands, and theyre the biggest hands I've ever had inside me before. At 6ft 4, this Dom doesn’t have tiny hands, they are massive and it takes a lot to have them inside me, no matter how relaxed I may be feeling at the time. Soon I was crying out for him to stop, but he wouldnt. I could feel how wet I was, it felt like I was continuously wetting myself, I made a big wet patch on the bed, it was soaking! I forgot my safe word. So he carried on, trying to stick things in my ass simultaneously. Then he fucked my ass so hard it hurt like hell, it was so bloody deep. He wouldnt stop, and he got my huge dildo in my cunt too, I was like...fuck...stop, it hurts, and he just carried on and said...do you really want me to stop? as its him I just took it cos I like to please him and impress him on the rare occasions I do see him and he knows this I'm sure, but it felt like a rape. Then I was forced to rim him deep and suck only his balls and then his cock and balls together, all stuffed in my mouth.

And then the needles came out. He put a towel over my face so I didnt know what he was gonna do and I felt this sharp prick and one was in my areola, and then the second which hurt more...but they were fine. I said we should put loads in as he'd bought tons with him but we never got time in the end and he carried on fisting me. Then he started eating my cunt and playing about with pegs on my clit, this was fine until he decided to whip them...fuck that hurt. I wanted them off completely but he insisted he took them off...really, really hurt, too much for my liking.

Not content with that I was pissed on, in my hair, my face, my tits...it went all over the hotel carpet and bathroom floor too. He made me drink it and piss kiss him. Then get on all fours on the bed so he could insert speculums to hold both my holes open with which he then pissed in and fucked both my holes with the speculums wide open which felt so weird. Then the one in my cunt just slid out easily, even though it was wide open, I had become that stretched!!! He tried to force something up my ass but it hurt like hell, so I had to use my safe word and I found I was bleeding and shit a little and had made a bit of a mess despite the thorough enema I‘d given myself before we met, sometimes these things cant be helped, especially with deep anal play and opening up so wide that its beyond natural. Nevermind, he neither noticed until after or cared at that point.

Then back off to the bathroom for me and he made me deepthroat him so severely that I threw up over his cock and then again in the bath, and again and again. He made me carry on though despite the state I was in, my eyes were streaming, mascara had streaked down to my chin! Then back into the room where he forced me to lay back on the sofa and put my head over the back of one of the arms so it was upside down and he could fuck my throat. I couldnt breathe. I was literally slapping and scratching him to stop, panicking like mad thinking I was going to puke and pass out, really struggling under his full weight as he was fucking my throat as if it were my cunt or asshole. Afterwards I felt like I'd been strangled it hurt my throat so much, it took some time for me to get my breath back. But he wanted tons of stringy spit on his cock and made me continue before giving me a break where I just couldnt get up I was so fucked. I had to lay there for quite a while trying to recover, totally obliterated from his abuse on my restricted throat.

Everytime I meet him we want to get me to piss on him and he likes to drink it, as much as I like to take it. I had never managed it before, no matter how much water I’d drank. But this time at long last I did manage to piss over his cock and in his face with him sitting under me lapping it up from my cunt, licking my piss up, drinking it, tasting it, that was very horny and he loved it, so did I. I wish I could of done more though, much, much more, really got off on the sight of him getting off on drinking my piss and eating my cunt as I was pissing, seriously hot, he said it tasted gorgeous. But as usual I couldn’t go anymore, even though later I spent the whole rest of the night on the toilet when it was too late and we were trying to sleep, typical.

Then eventually after we’d worn each other out we got in bed and he made me deep throat him until he came. His cum tasted so sweet, I wanted more then, not often I get nice tasting cum, must of been the cider. But we were both so tired we needed to sleep, we didnt have the time to play with the knife or clingfilm I had bought along with me, maybe next time perhaps? And I now have proper clover clamps, although theyre not my favourite thing to endure I'll admit, ouch!

The poor chambermaids...the state of the towels and the bedding was pretty damn awful...blood, puke, piss, shit, cum, lube, cunt juices, make up, what a mess! I wonder if the bathroom and room in general stank of piss too?

He left to go back early leaving me to sleep and put all my stuff away and I went home bruised, with very sore holes and very, very tired. It took me a good few days to recover, but I really enjoyed myself of course and what sticks in my mind the most is the lovely long flogging I got and the tit torture. But, I do need a nice heavy flogger now, just that I cant afford it at present. Of course, if anyone wants to buy me one…;)

It seems to me its quite easy to spot the fake slaves out there from their pictures and what they have to say in their ads or when answering peoples ads. The pics just dont seem genuine, even their names seem flakey and the wording is always more or less the same old crap. I know I'm getting expert in spotting the rubbish just lately anyway. But one thing that annoys me is why do alot of the male Doms on here not have any profile information at all? How can any real sub or slavegirl get anywhere with that? and a real lack of pics or entries suggests a not so genuine Dom also. Is it laziness, privacy and discretion going overdrive or just a whole bunch of disengenuine folk out there? It would be quite sad to think that all the people without completed profiles arent for real, but I gotta wonder?

Today I went to the library and got out loads of books on tattoos and piercings. I would eventually like a couple of tattoos, but theres the whole emotional, spiritual concept that interests me and also the pain factor...one chapter is about pain, purging and profound change and transformation and branding for submission and ownership features in the books too..all very interesting to me.

I think I must have got alot stronger over the years as in the past if anyone called me fat or anything nasty I would really take it to heart and get very downhearted about being so. Now though, I really dont give a shit, I am labelling my posts and pics under the 'fat' category where I once would of shyed away from that. Obviously I am working towards losing the weight and feel better within myself slimmer, and in my pics you can clearly see my weight fluctuates, but I'm not bothered anymore if anyone calls me a fat cow or the like. Yes, I am fat, thats a fact, and so what of it? Fat girls do it better, didnt you know? LOL. And for me its not cos I cant get anyone to play with me and so feel I have to make more of an effort to please or any of that rubbish either, I never have that problem...its just cos I've always been very good and enjoy myself so much, I dont need to make the effort, it comes naturally. I'm still very attractive and unique in my look and attitude and thats more important than being skinny and acceptable to some peoples idea of beauty, I get my fair share of adventures, much more so than many skinny girls I know and so the odd comment doesnt get to me anymore. I feel I must of really come a long way from the way I once was when I couldnt leave the house for fear of what people might say or think about me and the way I looked. Cos I was Agoraphobic and Social Phobic and very big indeed back then. Now I just think, if they dont like it, well, fuck em! Lifes too short for bullshit and who cares what some people think? I'm certainly not gonna hide myself away and be scared to go out, I love making an exhibition of myself and showing my pics and slutting around.

I went to see a consultant yesterday as a check for my operation which should of been today. He examined me and decided I need to have another MRI scan done before embarking on any further action, in case I dont actually need another operation at all. So I've been placed on the waiting list and have an appointment arranged with my orginal doctor next month. I cant tell you what a huge relief it was to not have to go in today for an operation. I have been dreading it for months now and was trying to get myself ready for it in mind, body and last week buying everything I needed to take in with me. Needless to say, I wasnt very ready anyway. Okay, I had what I needed, but to prepare in body is hard as it required alot of weightloss and as for mind, well, nothing can prepare me for the amount of pain and infirmity. So, although this may be nothing more than a brief respite, its a welcome one, and it may even transpire that I no longer need an operation at all. Yes, I still get pain of the lower back and some sciatica, but no, its not like it used to be, its not utterly unmanagable and I can take painkillers when its at its worst and exercise helps.

So, I am now again available to be at my slutty best and actively seeking once more for someone to futher corrupt me!

I've had the flu for the past 5 days so far and feel lousy and freezing cold and have used over two boxes of tissues so far. These flu medications dont really do much do they? And to top it I have damaged my eyelids chemically with a rather harsh face mask 6 days ago and my eyelids are so sore, bright red and peeling that I'm off to the gp's now to get something to ease them. Eyes keep watering, its hell. Been up until 6am for past few nights too, so exhausted and feel sick.

What with all this I had to cancel a very good 24hr session at the weekend on the morning after having had planned it for a whole week. And I've spent my last week in the house, in bed instead of out and about as planned. If this doesnt go away by Friday I'll have to cancel my operation and be put back on the waiting list for a few months as they said I'll have to start again from scratch! The Red Sea's coming to visit Friday for a few days also so will have that to contend with also. My mood couldnt be worse really. So I dont know if I'll be going into hospital next week or not now?